Here’s the short version: I lost a bet. I won’t say with whom or what the bet was but I lost. The bet stemmed from the fact that I am particularlytrek4 unforgiving of STAR TREK VI: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY. I think it’s a very, very, VERY flawed movie. Nowhere near on par with the abhorrent STAR TREK V, but not as brilliant as many people seem to think it is. If the movie is on and I have no choice but to view it, I will riff (ala MST3K) on all the various plot holes or logical errors that are rife throughout. Now that I’ve lost this bet, I’m forced to turn my scrutiny to what I feel is one of the better movies in the STAR TREK oeuvre–STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME. It’s a fun movie. Not perfect but fun. However, it does have a few…logistical problems that I gleefully overlook when watching. So, to fulfill my wager, here are a few snarky comments directed at STAR TREK IV: * Really? Kirk and his crew are charged with treason among a host of other serious crimes (9 violations of Starfleet regulations) and Starfleet doesn’t send an armed escort to confiscate the Klingon ship (valuable technology) and arrest the lot of them? OK, so, maybe the Vulcan government gave them asylum (it helps when you’ve just saved the Ambassador’s son). That could explain why they weren’t immediately arrested upon their arrival to Vulcan. BUT…they’re somehow entrusted with piloting the Klingon ship back to Earth on their own recognizance? (Granted, there is a line saying they expected to be escorted by Starfleet ships who were subsequently diverted due to the whale-probe crisis but wouldn’t you think there’d be a couple ships stationed around Vulcan, just waiting for them to take off?). * Really? Dr. Gillian Taylor, a cetacean research biologist, is giving tours? Doesn’t she have research or some other high-paying shit to do? Don’t they leave the tours to the minimum-wage folks? Or even the college student interns? * Really? They lead a merry chase through the hospital as they retrieve Chekov, duck into an elevator, order a beam out….and then watches they beam to just OUTSIDE the ship? Not inside the ship, where there’s a sickbay for Chekov and where they, frankly, need to be? * Really? Scotty and McCoy show up and offer Dr. Nichols the secret to transparent aluminum and he doesn’t once say “Why are you giving this to me? If it really works, why don’t YOU just make a million off of it?” (You could argue that he’s too greedy to think about that but wouldn’t you be just rolex watches the slightest bit suspicious of offers from a guy who says, “Hello, computer!”) * I have no fucking clue what that whole time travel sequence was about: the clay heads in the mist, the raindrops, and the pussywillows in the river. Seriously, WTF? Did Ingmar Bergman edit these two minutes of film without Nimoy’s knowledge?
Comments
I'm with Tim on this one
I'm with Tim on this one
tim?
tim?
Here’s the short version:
Here’s the short version: I lost a bet. I won’t say with whom or what the bet was but I lost. The bet stemmed from the fact that I am particularlytrek4 unforgiving of STAR TREK VI: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY. I think it’s a very, very, VERY flawed movie. Nowhere near on par with the abhorrent STAR TREK V, but not as brilliant as many people seem to think it is. If the movie is on and I have no choice but to view it, I will riff (ala MST3K) on all the various plot holes or logical errors that are rife throughout. Now that I’ve lost this bet, I’m forced to turn my scrutiny to what I feel is one of the better movies in the STAR TREK oeuvre–STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME. It’s a fun movie. Not perfect but fun. However, it does have a few…logistical problems that I gleefully overlook when watching. So, to fulfill my wager, here are a few snarky comments directed at STAR TREK IV: * Really? Kirk and his crew are charged with treason among a host of other serious crimes (9 violations of Starfleet regulations) and Starfleet doesn’t send an armed escort to confiscate the Klingon ship (valuable technology) and arrest the lot of them? OK, so, maybe the Vulcan government gave them asylum (it helps when you’ve just saved the Ambassador’s son). That could explain why they weren’t immediately arrested upon their arrival to Vulcan. BUT…they’re somehow entrusted with piloting the Klingon ship back to Earth on their own recognizance? (Granted, there is a line saying they expected to be escorted by Starfleet ships who were subsequently diverted due to the whale-probe crisis but wouldn’t you think there’d be a couple ships stationed around Vulcan, just waiting for them to take off?). * Really? Dr. Gillian Taylor, a cetacean research biologist, is giving tours? Doesn’t she have research or some other high-paying shit to do? Don’t they leave the tours to the minimum-wage folks? Or even the college student interns? * Really? They lead a merry chase through the hospital as they retrieve Chekov, duck into an elevator, order a beam out….and then watches they beam to just OUTSIDE the ship? Not inside the ship, where there’s a sickbay for Chekov and where they, frankly, need to be? * Really? Scotty and McCoy show up and offer Dr. Nichols the secret to transparent aluminum and he doesn’t once say “Why are you giving this to me? If it really works, why don’t YOU just make a million off of it?” (You could argue that he’s too greedy to think about that but wouldn’t you be just rolex watches the slightest bit suspicious of offers from a guy who says, “Hello, computer!”) * I have no fucking clue what that whole time travel sequence was about: the clay heads in the mist, the raindrops, and the pussywillows in the river. Seriously, WTF? Did Ingmar Bergman edit these two minutes of film without Nimoy’s knowledge?
haha!
i have totally done this a million times
who is the guy in the glasses supost to be in real life his dad?
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
too long
next time press enter
superman
haha come on dude play along its funny :D
:)
I love this. YEAH.
v
Random moments
Totally done this before XD