Now lets see what happens when you're driving with the OTHER guy's brake pads.
Last Updated: May 3, 2012
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Submitted by Jamesbloke on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 19:14
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Sunday saw the 250th anniversary Burns night. I've just finished celebrating, so bare with me...
For those not in the kno, this isn't a commiseration of a conflagration, or even a failed catholic plot to overthrow the government. Instead it is a celebration of the life of Scotland's national poet Rabbie (Robert) Burns. Burns night is celebrated every year on the anniversary of his birthday by the consumption of Scotland's National Dish, the Haggis, with Neeps and Tatties.
Depending on who you talk to, you will either learn that a) a haggis is a small four legged creature from the highlands with two legs longer than the other to keep them upright on the steep slopes. Naturally, this splits the Haggis into distinct Clockwise and Anticlockwise breeds.
Alternatively, you may hear b) that the haggis is a pauper's dish - it uses all the cuts of meat from a sheep that no-one else wants (lung, heart, offal etc), stretched with Scotland's other national dish, oats, and stuffed in a lambs intestines.
I have yet to work out which of these stories is true, but if you happen to be in the vicinity of Scotland in January time, then join in one of the Haggis hunts and let me know how you get on.
The Burn's night supper is Haggis (freshly caught or otherwise), Neeps and Tatties. Neeps are turnips (or Swede in the rest of the UK) and tatties are (mashed) potatoes (and both are best served with a whiskey sauce).
Now, far from me to lead anyone astray, but the traditional burns night follows a strict procedure. Firstly, the Haggis (plucked and cooked) is paraded round the table and is addressed by the host before being opened. By no strange coincidence the address to a haggis is written by Rabbie Burns and is about long enough to see the haggis get cold. This may not be co-incidence (heart, lungs, offal etc). It is also customary to drink a swig of scotch just before tucking into the haggis, and indeed at the subsequent toasts.
After the haggis has been....consumed...It is customary for the toasts. First, the host has to toast the country in which they live, then a guest either recites a Burns poem or says something about the Scottish Bard, followed by a drink. Next the host prepares a toast to the people who prepared the meal - traditionally the ladies, followed by one of the ladies toasting the laddies (men) in return,
At this point, enough whiskey has been drunk in rapid toasting that the rest of the evening takes a free-form sort of punch-up love-in format.
Anyhoo, I thought I would share that.
I can give recipes for vegetarian haggis and also the scotch sauce to go with it, but I don't have a good recipe for the "meat" version if you can't buy one. Apparently, a tin of dog food stuffed in a condom makes a splendid authentic ribbed haggis for the hard up.
Comments:
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FANTASTIC! As a stupid American, you could tell me pretty much anything, Jamesbloke, and I'd believe it. So thanks for the wonderful story, and I wish I could have celebrated with you! (But only with the vegetarian haggis, please. If that's unavailable, I think I'd prefer the dog food/condom option.)
Celebrations that revolve around food are my favorite! But here, that's pretty much every one of them. :)
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I just have to say, Buff's does not qualify as a stupid American.
And is this for real Bloke? Because why in the world would you eat such things? :D
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except for the alcohol i would sneak away if i was forced to go before the haggis is served definitely!!!!! ew dog foodin a condem blech as simplecap said how could you eat such things?
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I'm just going to avoid haggis as long as possible. I learned about it in So I Married An Axe Murderer, and I've never wanted to eat it. EVER!
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Good grief, I think I must have overdone the water of life last night - I only meant to say Happy Burns Night to everyone.
This is absolutely for real, there's even a Wikipedia page on it.
The Haggis is actually remarkably tasty, but as for why eat it, well....
It's cheap protein - All the expensive cuts of meat would have gone to the Lairds, possibly the church, probably England & also rich traders, leaving the less appealing cuts for the common folk. It would be common to try to make the meat go further by mixing it with something else like oats or bread rusk.
It is also unethical and wasteful to throw any part of an animal away, especially when you consider the amount of feed required to raise the animal. It also shows a lack of respect for a once living animal to be wasteful with it. (I'll get off my soap box now).
Finally, it is good for you (as far as meat is good for you), offal being rich in vitamins. I admit there is a bit of cholesterol in there too....
As for the booze, Isaac, whiskey is a very strong drink that burns in your throat and sits like a hot coal in the pit of your stomach. It is one half of the Scottish strategy for keeping warm in the highlands, the other half being the Kilt*. It is an acquired taste - I know a lot of people who won't touch it.
* Before anyone asks, the strategy goes thusly: Lift your kilt and stick your arse in the fire and pour whiskey down your neck. 'Twixt the heat going up from your butt and the heat coming down from the drink, you get warm in the middle. And yes, that is why you don't wear undercrackers beneath a kilt**.
** Obviously in these days of central heating the reason for wearing a kilt has changed. Wearing a kilt at a party pretty much guarantees you will receive a special favour from a lady. Apparently***.
*** I have never worn a kilt, but I have this on good authority.
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Didn't make it to the pub last night, but several around here had mention of good ol' Robbie.
I ate haggis in Edinburgh last summer. I liked it. I make no excuses.
And I actually cooked Neeps and Tatties last fall... but I'll leave haggis cooking to the professionals, especially the alternative 'Bloke offered.
Thanks for the cultural exchange, Jamesbloke!
The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
- from "To A Mouse," Robert Burns
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What have men got to do with it?
- Slartybardfast
I think more appropriate would be:
Quote:
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I love you guys. Seriously.
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Jake wrote:
The ribbed Haggis actually came from a silly radio comedy comedy called "You'll have had your Tea: The Doings Of Hamish & Dougal."
Not sure of a legal way for you to get hold of it outside of this country....
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I could not agree more with Buffs.
And this...
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That is hysterical. And totally logical on all fronts. :)
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An evening of haggis, starchy sides, scotch and poetry? Man, I really need to look into applying for British citizenship.
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"poetry"
Needs the quotes.
Funny how the grass is always greener.
If you can make next year's, you are all welcome.