How It Should Have Ended
Tell your sister, you were riiiiiiiiiiight.
Last Updated: Jan 23, 2012

Welcome to the How It Should Have Ended Forum.
You will have to register before you can post: click the Register/Sign In link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
wolfiesdad's picture

I liked the short video here on SW IV A New Hope. I love IV, V and VI but they have some reall goofy ^&%$ technical stuff:I may be starting a war here .... not intending to but ...1) Xwings can't fly.They have no moving control surfaces- can't fly in air without some sort of exhaust control. Look and see- those engines exhaust only straight exhaust. If they redirected the exhaust by deflector fields, it might work OR if the engines rotate to direct the exhaust but flat no moving parts and no deflectors ... they'd literally skid across the terminal on Yavin's moon: "Look out.... CRASH!" "Wait .. who supplied these crazy (&*^ things .. they can't fly!" (Maybe steam catapults to point them? Acme where are you?) At least the Y-wings apppear to have some sort of equipment to control the exhaust.2) They can't bomb.Good fighter/bombers are rare - in general you are air support, ground pounders or command. To produce power for multiple plasma weapons requires bunches of power plant: You'd also need raw material to be ablated into the plasma. So you either pack plasma fuel (lead?) or bombs. Or be BIG! {Lasers are reflected by mirrors ... you mean they don't have mirrors in space?)Where was command? In modern combat almost always there some command nearby not 4 AUSs away from the fight "Hey Luke.. you 've got 3 coming at you (2 mins goes by) OH shoot ... oh well...." Any 'regular' information goes s-o-l {2+ minutes from our sun to us ... that kind of lag is badddd... ) So where was the local command?And3) Luke would be either a live grunt or a dead hero. If Ywings are ground pounders, great ... but if all the Y's were destroyed the only way to be sure you got the 2 meter port: suicide run by Luke. So either he spends all his time doing cover and doesn't do the actual bombing or he Banzai's the port."Ok men - we're not using the Xwings from here - we've got them parked in orbit. You all saw what happened to Wedge! (To C3P0: I'm surprised they are still here, oh well gotta take what you can.) Leia and the Command crew will be covering you from above. Luke your're covering Gold wing five to eight." Gold wing crew five to eight all moan and whisper to each other .. "Oh God, we are sooooo going to die... can we increase our life insurance in time?" "Maybe we'll be ok!" "And maybe your mom did a whole tribe of Sand People for 10 credits!" <Laughter> "HEY ....oh, wait she did." <pouts>Battle ensues... x-wings provide cover fire from TIES (basically a wall of plasma fire), Y-wings all die ("aarrghhhhh"!!!! "Oh &*%$ we've lost all the bombers!") and Luke hears Ben "Luke don't use the force you've got one chance .." "Wait .. why me?" "Cause you can't use a saber, you can't fly and you've got no experience in command." "Well Jedi droppings. Ok let's do this.." "Command here .. all remaining x-wings.. plow the road for roadhopper" "That's Skywalker!" "whatever! (he's gonna be ionized particles in 30 seconds anyways)" "I heard that!" "Sorry you're cutting out .. (makes mouth noise, static.)" Luke gets up to speed turns x-wing to 90 straight up, hits apex, then point nose straight down at port ... 2 seconds before he hits the port everyone bugs out .. x-wings, TIES, escape pods (you didn't think everyone was a hero on the Death Star do ya?) Boom! (flying space rings .. "Oooohhh Pretty!" says Leia as the command ship heads to the moon of Yavin.) We next see Leia put a medal around a clay bust of Luke she then leaves quickly out back door with Chewbacca while Han isn't looking. "How much was that price on his head?"

Comments:

Nator0804's picture

I always wondered why if they had planned a trap for the death star by leading them to Yavin-IV then why weren't they more prepared? they couldve brought in some A-wings for air support or B-wings to bomb the thing... Did they not have those planes yet?

wolfiesdad's picture

I stopped at the movies, but yeah ... "Wait you forgot your USEFUL craft!" Then again, I believe that the clone wars were about illegal cloning of jedi - not cloning some backwater redneck bounty hunter named dog ooops Jango. Given light+ speed, some sort of heavy craft should have been there ... I wonder sometimes if Leia wasn't a double agent, "No no this'll be easy .. mosquitoes always kill elephants in one blow!**" (Animal translation there :)

Share/Bookmark