♫“American Dreams…dreams, with a ‘Z’”♫.

That is the theme song to the new movie starring Hugh Grant and Mandy Moore that is being advertised as a satire on America.  In reality, it is an extremely unfunny parody about the presidency and the pop culture show American Idol.  It only wishes it was smart enough to be a satire.

 **For the record, a satire is a story that uses wit and irony to reveal something to the audience.  A parody, on the other hand, imitates reality in a “funny” way.  Since I do not believe this movie is a satire, and therefore reveals nothing to the audience (nor does it hold any value for you to waste your eight dollars), this review will be littered with spoilers.

 Young Sandy Kendoo (Moore) is a contestant on the show produced and hosted by Marin Tweed (Grant).  Both characters are outrageously self-serving and two dimensional, as is every other character in the movie.  Sandy’s opposing finalist is an Arab named Omer who has been told by a terrorist sleeper cell that he must make it to the final round, strap on a bomb, and blow himself up when he meets the President of the United States.  The President is a guest judge on the final show to regain public trust after a nervous breakdown for his profound stupidity.  His chief of staff tells him what to do through an ear piece and doesn’t like him to read the news and learn anything about the world.  The chief of staff is also a dead ringer for Cheney, so this movie presents the audience with the brand new idea that the VP of our country is running things.  What??  No one has ever said that before…this must be the satire…

 Speaking of which…here’s my case on why it’s not a satire.  All contestants on American Idol are selfish glory seekers.  No one truly humble tries out for that show; in fact most of the time it’s littered with people who have entirely too high self-esteem.  Simon Cowell is a complete jerk and Ryan Seacrest thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread.  Putting this on the big screen is not satirical in any way.  And finally…we know the president acts and says stupid stuff. It’s NOT funny anymore.  It was hysterical six years ago when Will Ferrel did it on Saturday Night Live.  It was even funny two years ago when Will Forte did it and it’s still occasionally funny when Jon Stewart does it (although the latter has far better material and rarely goes there anymore – he’s a true comedian and knows its OLD). 

 This movie is such a mess, I’m not entirely sure how to put this ending into written words.  Sandy is stringing along her boyfriend Will, who she doesn’t love, because he is an injured veteran from the Iraq War and helps her story to win American Dreamz.  He intends to ask her to marry him on the final show, but catches her having sex in the dressing room with Tweed (I’ll come back to this).  Omer decides he doesn’t want to kill himself and the President so he throws the bomb away.  Will finds the bomb, comes on stage with it and while singing the American Dreamz theme song, blows himself and Tweed up.  Sandy comes back as the host of the show next year.

 To illustrate the profound stupidity of this movie, I would like to share with you how Will discovers Sandy is sleeping with Tweed.  He spots them through the key hole in her dressing room door.  If anyone has seen a key hole in any door constructed in the last 25 years (and that’s pretty generous), please email me.  Remember, this is a major Hollywood studio.  Are you freaking kidding me?

 

No one in the theater laughed at a single thing in this movie.  It might have been funny 5 years ago, but there was absolutely nothing to appreciate here.  I give it 1 out of 5 stars