Tina has been too busy lately to get a chance to see any movies in the last few weeks, so I’m (Daniel) filling in again. 

I just got back from watching Eragon.  Let me just start by saying that I was excited to see this movie.  So excited in fact, that I went by myself just because none of my friends were up for it tonight.  I love Sci-Fi movies and good Fantasy type films.  Outer Space, or Middle Earth, I get a kick out of it.  So Eragon looked like something I’d love like the rest…  I was wrong.

 Don’t be fooled by the commercials.  “Critics are saying Eragon is the most amazing film of the year!”  all that junk.  It’s all lies.  What the commercial should really say is “Eragon is a novel compressed into an hour and a half so badly you’ll get tired of sitting down for such a short time!”  or “Worst Death Scenes EVER”.  I should take time to mention that I have not read the book, so I am looking at this film completely from a first time point of view.   Those who have read the book might have some compassion on the movie, except in my opinion you’d have to have compassion coming out of your ears, But that doesn't mean this is a good film. Because from a storytelling point, it bloooows.  Let me just attempt to describe this movie, and be warned, I could not care less about spoiling anything for people at this point.

 Wizard people fight in the woods over a dragon egg.  Hot magic girl teleports egg to safety. Edward Speleers is Eragon.  He’s a farm boy. He finds the egg.   Doesn’t know it’s an egg.  The egg hatches.  The Dragon hatchling doesn’t have an ounce of egg goo on it and immediately is agile enough to eat rats and make facial expressions.  Dragons are apparently awesome at birth..  By the way I should also point out that the movie actually moves this fast on screen.  Every scene lasts 30 seconds at least and suddenly Eragon knows magic and is flying on top of a dragon like it’s no big deal.

 I give up describing this movie, I’d rather just warn people about how bad it sucks.  This movie is worse than daytime soap operas.  The Character Development is so aweful you never know what your watching or what to care about at any point, which is good I guess because the story is so un-original there isn’t really reason to care in the first place.  Occasionally there are good effects and your brain goes “oooo.”  But then right after that they couple it with a horrible bluescreen effect with Eragon “flying” on the back of the dragon saying something very unnecessary.

 The Cinematography feels like an episode of Xena the Warrior Princess.  Everything is so well lit at night  you wonder why they even carry torches.  Rachel Weisz voice as the dragon was distracting.  John Malkovich is the king ?  I don’t know why because he’s only in 3 scenes and they all take place from what appears to be the same camera angle in the most “non king” looking set I’ve ever scene.  Dang this wears me out.

 There are better movies out right now people.  I would imagine any other film qualifies.  But if you’re hoping this film will blow your mind and take you to another world like Lord of the Rings.  It wont.  At least it didn’t for me.  Lord of the Rings is better.  Harry Potter is better.  WILLOW is better.  Reign of Fire is better!  And in my opinion, Eragon is an A.D.D. version or all of those movies crammed together in 1 hr and 39 mins.    I give it.  1 out of 5.