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Pirates of the Caribbean:
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At World's End
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Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End is the third, and hopefully final, movie in a series that started fun and ended in a complete, incoherent mess.
This is the part of the review where I usually try to describe a little of the plot. I hesitate for fear my brain might explode, but here’s the best I can do. The crew goes to the end of the world to rescue Jack (where he’s gone crazy and multiplied), faces there foes Davy Jones and Lord Beckett, and risks releasing Calypso…all while betraying and reuniting with each other every five seconds. My suggestion is that you just tune out the voices and watch the phenomenal special effects.
When this movie isn’t terrible, it’s only mediocre at best. The acting is decent, and those that are great (like Depp) could be seen giving equal performances in the first film.
Barbossa releases Calypso, the goddess of the sea, who has been trapped in the body of Tia Dalma. She grows to the size of a 40 foot woman and then, as if she wasn’t hard enough to understand with a Cajun accent, she starts yelling like Satan, crumbles into a thousand crabs and leaves the audience scratching its head.
Elizabeth and William get married while in the middle of a sword fight with the crew from the Flying Dutchman. Yes, after fighting and lying and not trusting each other for two hours (four hours if you count the second movie), we’re supposed to be excited about their final union.
William frees his father from Davy Jones, but receives a fatal stab in the process. Right before death they help him stab the heart and now he will be the Captain of the Flying Dutchman and can only see Elizabeth one day every ten years. This would have been really tragic if I actually felt something about their love affair.
Lord Beckett is defeated. His death scene is definitely going on my top ten list of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen. Seriously, if there’s ever a tornado, this guy could save you. He’s able to walk calmly through an exploding ship without getting hit by a SINGLE piece of shrapnel!
Beckett’s army retreats even though they have thousands of ships and the pirates only have nine. Makes sense to me.
If you stay after the credits you’ll get a lovely scene of Elizabeth going to meet William after ten years with their now nine year old son. The scene after the credits should have been the director apologizing for wasting the last three hours of your life.
