Wow. This is the most nervous I have ever been before writing a movie review. For those of you lucky enough to visit our site before the crash last Saturday, you probably learned that our talented Artist is a serious Michael Bay hater. In fact, I had to watch this one alone because he’s voting against the Director with his pocket book. But since I saw it by myself and was able to avoid the groans in the seat next to me, I have to admit…I liked it. I did not LOVE it, but I liked it.
For the Lucas fans out there, and I get the feeling there’s a lot of you, imagine THX-1138 remade thirty-five years later by Michael Bay. Okay, now stop laughing and remember you cannot judge a movie you haven’t seen. Jerry Bruckheimer actually sat this one out, which is a first for a Bay movie, and for the first act of the movie there is shockingly only drama. But don’t worry you Bay-lovers (all 3 of you), the director finally goes crazy and gives you what you came for…tons of action and cuts every second to boggle the mind. I have to admit, the first highway chase scene was incredibly intense, and probably the best I’ve seen. Maybe even better than the Matrix Reloaded. But by the second car chase, I was starting to get tired and see what everyone is talking about.
The comic relief fell flat on the audience, without a single laugh heard through the whole movie. I take that back, there was a serious moment where the doctor claims the clones are raised to a 15 year old education in order to avoid overt sexuality. Right, because 15 year olds are never overtly sexual.
There were plenty of bad one-liners too, especially one by Scarlett Johansson that is probably going to go down in history for me as the cheesiest line ever. That’s right, there is an island for Jordan Two Delta and you’ll have to see the movie to find out what it is. Bleh!
By now you’re probably wondering what I liked about the movie. While I have to admit it was extremely predictable and cliché, I also found it very thought provoking. And any movie that makes me think, has to rank higher than a popcorn blockbuster.
If you had the money and a serious disease, and you were told that you could clone your organs for future use, would you do it? Or to be paranoid, is it already being done? Do you consider clones to be human? And if so, is that not slavery?
So How Does It End? (spoiler alert)
Well, it climaxes in true Michael Bay style with lots of action, but it ends with all of the white clones, dressed in all white, walking out of their underground prison. Amidst them is the detective that inevitably helps save them, played by none other than Djimon Housoun from Amistad, completely dressed in black. And of course the director gives us sweeping 360 crane shots, switching directions every five seconds. Cliché? Yes. But still kind of interesting in an obvious sort of way.
By Tina Alexander
